I don’t remember a time in my life when I wasn’t an avid reader. My fondest memories of childhood involved my town library, my mom rewarding me for good behavior in the mall with a trip to the bookstore, and reading by my pool. When I met my husband one of the things that convinced me he was “the one” was we shared this deep love for books. We have formed so many awesome memories that centered around reading- whether it was long rides to check out a cool book store, an author signing, or just hours spent reading in each other’s company.
So imagine my shock when my first born came of age where he could read… but hated it. My son, a second grader at the time I am typing this, was a lover of books as a baby. As a toddler and a preschooler, he would beg for stories. But when it came to reading to himself… no thank you. It didn’t come as easily as it did for some others, and for him, that was enough to have him completely shut down.
I tried everything I could think of. We went to the library weekly. We took him to meet Dav Pilkey (his favorite author). I got frustrated. How was it that I, a reading teacher, a person who has taught hundreds of kids to read and fostered a love of books in many children, could not get my own son to read?
I knew part of the problem was ability. Sure, he could read. He was even on grade level. But to my son, if it wasn’t easy and natural, he hated it. I also knew that the ability would never improve if he didn’t read more. Talk about a feedback loop!
So one day I was scrolling online when I came across this meme/graphic.
I’d seen this floating around online before, but that day I was ready for it. I thought, “If I want to get this kid to read, I need to truly be in his face with my reading.” You see I have always been a reader. I’d average about 2-3 books a month, but only e-Books. When we went to the library I never checked out books for me because I got them from my eLibrary account. When I tried to encourage him to read he never saw me as a model because when I did read, it was a on a Kindle, and to him a Kindle was a toy. It didn’t matter how many times I told him I was reading on it, he still saw it as a screen.
So when January 2020 rolled around I decided we were going “all in” as a family. John and I both agreed to stop reading eBooks. We both agreed to make family trips to the library. We both agreed to read around the kids, not just at bedtime or after they’re in bed. We decided we needed to model to him what we so desperately believed- that books are worthy, books are entertaining, and reading is an amazing way to pass the time. I spent hours researching series that I knew were attainable for him but also enjoyable for him. I scoured my school library, the public library, and Amazon.
It’s now late February and I can’t even tell you the changes I’ve seen. My son, who never read for pleasure, is flying through books. He has read the whole Bad Guys series, is working his way through Big Nate and various other series. He’s immersed in the world of graphic novels (because GRAPHIC NOVELS ARE REAL BOOKS PEOPLE!!!!!) and is loving it. We have a “pile contest” going- we all take out books from the library and stack them in a “to read” pile and then move them to the “complete” pile when we are done. We see who can get the most books read in a week.
This kid is killing it! He is reading multiple books a week- and so am I! I am now reading 2-3 novels a week and loving it! When I decided to get off my phone, put down my Kindle, and focus on books it was amazing the changes I saw. As I am typing this he just came downstairs to update me that he just finished another book and he was “beating me” this week.
It’s simplistic. Quite frankly I think it was a combination of him being ready (his reading skills were catching up to his interests- this was a huge issue for a long time) and us committing as a family to make this work. But all I kept thinking was, “Is this really going to work? A meme? A meme I saw on Twitter? This is what I was missing this whole time?”
Some families are into baseball. Or skiing. Or theater. My husband and I were both born readers and just wanted to share that same joy with our kids, the way any other parent wants to share their passions with their children. I knew there was a good chance this wouldn’t work but I was not willing to give up.
You see, as a fifth grade reading teacher I know some kids don’t love to read, but I have never met a kid who didn’t love to be read to. I survey my kids every year in June and without fail about 95% of them say their favorite part of my class was read alouds. That tells me every child- every single one- COULD learn to love to read. If you love being read to, it means you love stories. You just need to learn to love the process, or find ways to make the process more attainable (audio books, etc.). My son loved stories from birth. He has devoured the first three Harry Potters (through the illustrated versions with my husband reading them), has read so many versions of so many fairy tales he could probably teach a college course on fairy tales, and has sat and listened to my husband and me read him countless books. I knew it was in there. And I wasn’t willing to quit until he discovered it within himself.
I won’t sit here and say this will work for everyone. There are real, legitimate reasons, that some kids don’t like to read. But as I always tell my students, “If you don’t like to read you just haven’t found the right book yet.” I believed it as a teacher and I now deeply believe it as a mother. All it took was being the model. Learning from a meme was never on my to-do list as a parent… but hey… sometimes the best lessons come from unexpected places.